


Not Alone

by Manuelita_la_Tortuga



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27887629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manuelita_la_Tortuga/pseuds/Manuelita_la_Tortuga
Summary: A young, moderately intelligent Captain with no discernible aptitude is thrust into the chaos that is Halcyon. How does she cope? And what happens when her former life intrudes?
Relationships: The Captain & Ellie Fenhill, The Captain & Felix Millstone, The Captain & Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain & Nyoka (The Outer Worlds), The Captain & Parvati Holcomb
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Not Alone

Parvati looked through the glass longingly. It seemed like Dr. Welles kept his most interesting experiments back there. What she wouldn’t give to poke around with them. While Captain Nell was still showing a pretense of listening to the old scientist, the rest of the team had scattered across the lab. 

Felix had the dubious honour of catching the attention of Welles’ pet cystipig, and was half-heartedly scratching behind one of its ears. Nyoka and Ellie, were examining the workbenches on the other side of the lab, and so far seemed to be following the captain’s stricture of “don’t touch anything.” The Vicar had chosen to remain on the Unreliable studying some boring new book he had come across. SAM had also been left behind, the captain worrying that the auto-mechanical would try to clean Dr. Welles’ lab and get them in trouble.

Parvati turned back towards the glass and sighed. Well, there was no getting through to the other room, so she might as well do some exploring in this one. Welles was still chattering away, but by now even the captain had moved away, and was examining the nearest terminal. 

Parvati’s gaze was suddenly caught by a fancy looking pistol resting on a stand in front of the glass. 

“Aha! I see you’ve found my portable molecular compression device!” The man sounded positively gleeful. “Better known as a shrink ray. Find a target. Point. Shoot. Your target will shrink down into a manageable size, whereupon you may commence beating them to a pulp. Feel free to try it on a marauder some time.”

Parvati smiled nervously at the scientist, who grinned back and motioned her to take the weapon. Before she could reach for it, Ellie and Nyoka joined her and started bickering amiably over it. Parvati left them to it, turning to see if the captain was about done exploring the lab. She was just in time to see all the colour drain from the captain’s face.

“Captain? Everything all right?”

The captain didn’t respond, instead staring wide-eyed at the screen for a few seconds, before shutting the terminal down, pushing away from it, and stumbling out of the lab towards the Groundbreaker.

“Hey, Captain?” Parvati turned back to the others. “Guys? We gotta go.”

The other three were immediately on the alert, looking around for enemies, Felix glaring suspiciously at Dr. Welles. Parvati pointed at the door through which the captain was visible for just a moment before turning a corner.

“What the hell?” Ellie looked from Nell’s retreating back to the others, the shrink ray forgotten in her hand.

“What happened?” Nyoka demanded starting for the door.

“See ya later, doc,” Felix called, following them out.

“Ah. Yes. Well. Good-bye then.”

As the four companions hurried back to the Unreliable, Parvati told them what little she knew.

“Ah, good. You have returned,” ADA’s voice surrounded them as they came through the hatchway. “I was ordered to take us to the Groundbreaker as soon as you had returned. You are all free to take shore leave as soon as we arrive.”

The four looked at each other in confusion.

“I thought we were supposed to be meeting Welles’ contact in Byzantium next,” Nyoka said.

“Where’s the Captain, ADA?” Ellie asked.

“What’s going on down here? Can’t a man study in peace?” Max came down the stairs from the crew quarters and glared at the other four.

“Something’s wrong with the captain.”

Max frowned.

“She seemed well when I passed her a few moments ago.”

“ADA, did she tell you anything?”

“Other than the orders to make for the Groundbreaker and give the crew shore leave upon arrival, she has not spoken to me since returning from Dr. Welles’ lab. However, I do sense an elevated heart rate and uneven breathing. I believe the Captain is in some distress.”

“Perhaps she was somewhat terse just now. Come to think of it, she did not respond at all,” Max added. “What on earth happened in that lab? What did Welles tell her?”

“I don’t think it was anything he said,” Parvati said shaking her head. “She was fine until she started reading this one terminal, and then all of a sudden she went real pale, and then just came back to the ship without the rest of us.”

“Well what was on the terminal?” Max demanded.

“I don’t know! She shut it down when she left.”

“We didn’t stop to look at it,” Nyoka added.

“The way she was practically running back to the ship, we thought she might leave without us.”

“Why don’t we just ask her what was on it?” Felix piped up.

All the others turned and stared at him.

“Bad idea? Sorry.”

“Maybe the first good idea I’ve heard from you,” Ellie said with a smirk, and turned towards the stairs. 

“Unfortunately,” came ADA’s voice, stopping her in her tracks, “the Captain has asked not to be disturbed. The door to her cabin is locked and the intercom is muted. She will not hear you.”

Ellie turned back to the group with a sigh.

“So what now?”

“I don’t think there’s much we can do until she comes out,” Max said.

“ADA, let us know if her vitals go outside of normal ranges.”

“Of course, Dr. Fenhill.”

With subdued muttering and worried looks, the group made their way up to crew quarters. Parvati, for once, chose not to go to her hidey hole in the cargo bay, instead pacing restlessly through the mess, to her cabin, and down the hallway to where she could see the door to the captain’s quarters. She noticed she wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on that door, as she passed every other member of the crew - excluding SAM, who was in the cargo bay cleaning up after one of their recent deliveries – on more than one occasion.

“We have arrived at the Groundbreaker. Crew are encouraged to take shore leave.”

Coming together again in the mess, they looked at each other. 

“Look, I could use a drink and some time outside this ship, even if it is just on a larger ship, but I don’t feel right just leaving,” Nyoka started.

“Maybe we could take turns staying?” Parvati suggested. “I don’t mind stay…” she broke off as everyone else interrupted, with varying versions of “I’ll stay.”

“How about we draw lots.” Ellie pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, pulled out five and tore the filter end off one of them. She turned her back to the others for a moment, then turned back and offered them each a cigarette. 

“I’m gonna want those back, by the way.”

In the end Ellie herself was left with the broken cigarette. She nodded in satisfaction. As the others made their way to the Groundbreaker, Ellie grabbed her datapad and made herself comfortable on the bottom step above the landing that led to Nell’s quarters.

She was halfway through her second episode of Space Hospital: Nights, when Nell’s door opened and the woman herself appeared, walking with bowed head, and apparently not noticing Ellie sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

“Captain?”

Nell looked up in surprise, revealing reddened, swollen eyes and the marks of tear tracks on her cheeks.

“Captain?” Ellie’s voice was softer this time.

“What are you…” Nell looked away. “I thought everyone was on Groundbreaker.”

Ellie shrugged. 

“We were worried about you. Thought someone should stay behind.” She hesitated a moment before continuing. “What was on the terminal?”

Nell stared through her for several long moments, her mouth opening and closing a few times.

“I have to pee,” she said finally, and pushed past Ellie and up the stairs.

When Nell came out of the bathroom, Ellie was waiting for her on the end of one of the benches in the mess. Without a word, Nell headed back towards her quarters, but Ellie caught her wrist before she could take more than a few steps.

“You’ve been holed up in there for hours. You need to eat.” She gestured at a plate of saltuna sticks and a purpleberry punch she’d laid on the table next to her.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Doesn’t mean your body doesn’t need fuel. Come on, doctor’s orders.”

Nell dropped down onto the bench, her arms on the table on either side of the plate, and her head bowed over it. She made no move to eat the food, instead picking at the label on the bottle.

Straddling the bench next to her, Ellie watched her for a few moments.

“So what are we doing on Groundbreaker? I thought Welles said the next step was Byzantium?”

Nell shrugged one shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What doesn’t matter?”

Nell took a shaky breath before answering.

“Anything.”

She stood suddenly and stumbled towards her quarters. Ellie followed, slipping through the door to her cabin before it could shut. Nell was huddled in one of the back corners of her bunk with her knees clutched to her chest, her forehead pressed against them. 

Ellie sat on the edge of the bunk facing her.

“What was on the terminal?” she asked softly.

“Names.” Nell hadn’t moved, and her voice was muffled.

“Whose names?” Ellie prompted her.

“The… the people who came before me.” Her breathing was starting to get ragged. “The ones he c-couldn’t revive.” 

“You recognized one of the names?” Ellie asked.

Nell nodded, her shoulders starting to heave.

“My sister. He… he told me… the day I woke… he told me what happened… how they died…” She was growing more and more agitated. “And now, every time I close my eyes… I see…” She was starting to panic.

“Hey… shh…” Ellie crawled across the bed to Nell. “You’re hyperventilating. You need to slow your breathing. Here.” She took one of Nell’s hands and pressed it flat against her own chest. “Breathe with me.” She took a few slow breaths, nodding encouragingly as Nell tried to follow her rhythm. “That’s it.”

Once her breathing started returning to normal, Ellie wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close.

“So… that’s why you’ve been going along with Welles’ idea? To get your sister out?”

Nell nodded against her chest.

“And now…”

“I… I can’t. It’s… I’m the wrong one.”

“What do you mean?”

“Welles keeps talking about the Hope carrying the best and brightest. That was Sylvie. Not me. I’m no good.”

Ellie frowned. 

“But all the stuff you’ve done. Parvati goes on and on about how you saved Edgewater. And I saw what you did on the Groundbreaker and on Monarch.” She quirked an eyebrow. “Even if I doubt the peace will last, it was still pretty impressive to watch.”

Nell shook her head.

“That wasn’t me.”

“It sure looked like you.”

“I was… I was just trying to do what Sylvie would have. I’m not clever like her. I thought Welles picked the wrong sister. But he didn’t. He chose her first. But he should have picked me first, and then she’d still be alive.”

Ellie rubbed Nell’s back as she started sobbing again.

“You know, even if you were just pretending, you still did a lot of good.”

“I can’t do it. I can’t do it alone.”

“But you’re not alone. You have us.”

Nell huffed disbelievingly.

“What?”

“You’re not here for me. Max wants his book translated. Nyoka’s looking for her friends. Felix wanted adventure. Parvati… well, maybe Parvati. Except she won’t be around much longer if things go well with Junlei. And you… I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me right now. You don’t even like me.”

Ellie’s eyebrows shot up.

“What? What makes you say that?”

“You can’t stand to be in the same room with me. Whenever I walk in, you stop whatever you’re doing and walk off.”

“When have I ever…”

“Yesterday when you and Nyoka were having target practice in the cargo hold; last week when you and Felix were talking about one of the serials; that time that…”

“Ok, ok. I get it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you,” Ellie responded defensively. “It means…” she stopped and sighed. She hadn’t really noticed she was doing that. “I guess it means I’ve gotten in trouble in the past for having a bit too much fun onboard ship.”

“Anyway, you only joined up because you thought you owed me a debt.”

“Look, yes, we all had different reasons to join your crew. But, that doesn’t mean we don’t care. We drew lots to see who was going to stay behind today.

“And you lost?”

“And I won. We were arguing over who got to stay. Not who had to stay.”

“But you don’t even believe this is going to work.”

Ellie sighed.

“No, not really. But…” she grimaced and took a deep breath. “I’d kinda like you to be right. Even if everything I’ve seen in the world so far tells me you probably aren’t. Because the world the way you see it looks a hell of a lot nicer than my world. But if you tell anyone I said that, I swear by the Law I will deny it. I have my reputation as a cynic to uphold, after all.”

Ellie was pleased to feel Nell chuckle against her.

“I’m sorry you lost your sister. But I think we’re lucky to have you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not 100% sold on the end. Feels weak. There was something else I wanted to use, but I got distracted for 2 seconds and lost it.


End file.
